


Kill La Killkahestry

by orphan_account



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Kill la Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, But you know., Crossover, Gen, One-Sided Relationship, Prompt Fic, They're getting together later., for now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1341709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A princess, a living piece of fabric, and a homunculus in a jar. What would possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill La Killkahestry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Corin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Corin).



> Not strictly a continuation of the Kill La Killchemy AU, but an AU of that AU. Because my friend has a difficult round of exams coming up, so I decided to write them up one of their characteristic long headcanons rambles. Based off of LP user Corin's headcanons. Here it is. I hope you enjoy it, my friend!
> 
> Takes place after May leaves the Briggs crew with Envy in her jar and is en route to Youswell.
> 
> Unedited due to length. Enjoy!

Outside of the train snow drifts in thick white clumps, removed from her world by the thick pane of glass, just as the homunculus in the jar is removed by the same.

May wrinkles her nose. “Xiaoketsu,” she warns, “if you don’t close your mouth, we might have an issue.”

The _kamui_ snickers. Rolls her black, white, and pink patterned eye up towards May. “Well, _princess_ , I’m only speaking the truth.” She twitches the rounded shoulder ears that mimic the pink-streaked, circular buns atop May’s head. “If you really feel that way about her, you should say something.”

“Of course not,” May whispers back hotly. “ _You’re_ the one who’s been mumbling about how I’m so far deep in love with her or something. I think that _you_ might have a thing for her.”

Xiaoketsu scoffs. Mildly May wonders at the fact that a piece of clothing can scoff. “I’m not the one who’s been whispering about her in my sleep. _Oh Lan Fan oh Lan Fan oh Lan Fan_ , always mumbling about her in your sleep. Not that I mind. Ah, to hear the blood gushing through your heart! Makes me want to chomp down!” May’s cheeks flush despite her absolute embarrassment, or perhaps because of it. The _kamui_ tickles May’s ribs with a slight shift in its fabric; the princess glares downwards. “Isn’t she a vassal or something like that too? Of a different Clan?”

“Yes.” Her face burns, threatens to burn up completely and utterly to a charred crisp, which is silly since she’s a Chang, not a Huo. “Which is why you need to shut up. _Right_ now.”

“Which is _why_ you need to ‘fess up before you go back to Xing, where you can’t exactly waltz up to the Yao quarters and say _Yo, Yao, it’s me, the Chang girl_ ,” Xiaoketsu shoots back. May reaches down to yank the bottom of the robe; the _kamui_ squeezes inwards, and May tugs harder. Squeeze, tug, squeeze, tug, _yank_ again. The constant motion shakes her lap, shakes the covered jar in her lap, and the homunculus inside yelps.

Squealing softly, May lifts her head up to check the interior of the train. No one else on the particular cart. With a sigh of relief, she unveils the white cloth from the glass.

The homunculus in the jar cracks open zir eye. “Oi. Oi, I have an idea! How about you two just go and get married, and I’ve even got the perfect wedding present lined up: a big ole helpin’ heap of _shut the fuck up and let me sleep_!”

“Psh. As if _you’re_ going to be able to sleep.” Xiaoketsu snorts. May swats the robe; the _kamui_ bristles the rounded shoulder spikes. “Should I go ahead and chomp down on ya, princess? Switch up to maximum overdrive _right here and now_?”

“Yeah. Go ahead,” the homunculus butts in, “‘cause I really need to see some butt-naked twelve-year-old girl right now.” May slaps the jar; the homunculus tumbles around angrily like a fish floundering in a rapidly tapped aquarium. “Oi, oi, wotcher!”

“I’m _thirteen_.” May shakes the jar again while the homunculus hisses and the _kamui_ cackles.  “ _Thirteen_ , do you hear me? And Lan Fan is only _fifteen_.” She pauses. “Sixteen. I’m not sure when her birthday is.”

The homunculus laughs at her in zir shrill little voice. As the _kamui_ squints angrily at the homunculus, May feels a strange rush of affection and pride in her. In Xiaoketsu. “How about _you_ shut up?” the _kamui_ snaps. “Shut ‘em up, May.”

May covers the jar again. “Shut up,” she adds helpfully. The princess secures the base with a hairband fished from her pocket; Xiaoketsu opens herself wide to May’s hand.

The homunculus struggles; May can hear zem pound against the glass. Yet, like a bird with a sack tied over its head, zir motions slow and still until she can vaguely make out the sound of the homunculus coiling in on zemself at the bottom of the jar, apparently defeated. As May sets the jar back into her lap, grounding it, the _kamui_ twitches against her skin. Laughing. “So. You gonna tell her?”

May throws up her hands. The jar shudders; she catches it before it falls. “Fine. If it’ll really tickle your fancy, I’ll tell her next time I see her.” Xiaoketsu’s sniggering ceases in an instant. May scowls and folds her arms across her chest to punctuate her point before grabbing the jar again. “Oh. What’s wrong now? Didn’t think I would? Don’t think she’ll say yes?”

“Huh.” Xiaoketsu closes her pink-irised eye. May raises her eyebrows. “You agreed so easily.”

“Easily You’ve been badgering about this for _weeks_!”

“You’ve been saying Lan Fan’s name in her sleep for weeks!”

“I haven’t . . . _ugh!_ ” Grinding the heels of her palms into her eyes, she sees the sparks at the rim of her vision, like bolts of alkahestry. “I haven’t been saying her name for weeks!”

The _kamui_ thrums. “. . . months?”

May grits her teeth. “I’ll tell her because _I_ have meant to tell her. And for no other reason, okay?”

“Then I’ll make sure you look _extra_ hot when you do.” The _kamui_ winks at her. May flushes.“Would’ja lookit that! I could probably set myself on fire just by touching your cheeks.”

The princess covers her face in her hands. Her fingers burn where they touch her cheeks. “What do you mean by _extra hot_?”

“‘Sactly what I mean. I’ll figure out a new outfit and everything. Spice you up, May. Make sure you’ll get the girl of your _dreams_.”

For a moment May says nothing. Then she hugs the jar tightly against her chest in lieu of embracing the _kamui_ ; Xiaoketsu, she feels, understands her intentions. “Thanks, Xiao.”

“My _pleasure_.” The _kamui_ flip-flaps the hem of the robe. “Er, could you let me take a quick chomp of blood?”

May glances out over the train cart again. No one. She can sense the power lurking through the _kamui_ ’s cloth. “Of course.”

Xiaoketsu narrows her eyes. “Aha. I knew you’d say yes.”


End file.
